Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Love is...

when you get up at four a.m. to walk the floor with someone who can't stop coughing (and never make it back to bed before the alarm goes off)...

when you can laugh at your husband for taking an empty baby wipe bag full of old dirty diapers to daycare, instead of a new bag of baby wipes...

when the extravagant kindness of family is showered on you for no good reason other than that they love you, too...

when you start to cry while singing the song from 'Dumbo' to your child (you know, the song they play when Dumbo goes to visit his mommy in jail and she holds him with her trunk from between the bars... always a favorite lullaby) because she just breaks your heart...

when it's very cold outside, and your husband comes home from work and climbs into bed and snuggles up against your back to get warm, and then puts a hand on the baby to feel it kicking...

I suppose I have lots to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 14, 2005

When the going gets tough...

the tough get bitchy. I have been walking around for the last two weeks feeling as though I'm on the shortest string ever. There's just so much crap, and while I know that I have lots to be thankful for (blah, blah, blah), all I really want to do at this point is lay around in bed and let people feel sorry for me.

I will now proceed to rant. Please, feel free to ignore.

Gripe the first - why is the Bear so damn sick? She has that delightful hacking cough that children get - you know, the one where they cough and cough and cough in spasms until they turn blue and choke and then projectile vomit? Yes, that cough. I'm assuming all of your children have it as well. At any rate, she's been coughing like that nonstop since October 1st. Count them: 45 days. Three trips to the doctor, two rounds of antibiotics, two types of cough syrup, a nebulizer for breathing treatments (I miss my asthma), and 45 nights of no sleep. And the doctor(s) can't seem to find anything wrong with her. What could this be? Any thoughts?

Gripe the second - why is it that medical procedures that are supposed to improve your condition leave you feeling worse? I had a big rubber hose shoved in my kidney to keep it functioning until the baby comes and they can take out the small boulder growing in there. This "procedure" was supposed to relieve the constant back pain or "renal colic" that I've been living with since June. Of course, now the damn thing is causing more pain than I had to start with - figures. And, the best part? The other end pushes on the top of my bladder, so even when I don't have a thing in there, I feel the constant immediate burning need to pee. Even more than I already did. Isn't that fun? There are literally some days when I can't stand up. And that's annoying to me - and to the Bear, who has no idea why she can't climb all over me.

Gripe the third - Braxton-Hicks. Really strong and frequent Braxton-Hicks. Like every time I stand up, bend over, cough, sneeze, change positions in bed, etc. Have been having them since 15 weeks (although they just keep getting stronger and more frequent). They're not painful, but man, is it hard to pick up a toddler when your stomach is like a rock.

Gripe the fourth - Husband is driving me crazy. He claims I can't do any housework (and rightly so - see above), and that he will "take care of things" himself. Yeah, well, his idea of taking care of things is driving me up the damn wall. Dishes never done when they should be, no laundry done at all, no cleaning accomplished whatsoever, trash and junk everywhere... All he's managed to do is overspend our monthly budget. I could have done that myself! Thanks for the "help," jackass!

Gripe the fifth - This whole flu / bird flu thing. It creeps me out how much everyone keeps fixating on it. If we're all going to die, then we're all going to die, but do they have to make everyone paranoid on top of it? Bear has had her shot, which is good, because with lungs like hers, I feel fairly confident that a bout of flu could land her in the hospital for an extended time. Grrr. Why can't we all stay healthy for five freaking minutes?!

Gripe the sixth - It's a full moon. Children are weird when there's a full moon. I may have to stay home from work until it starts to wane... it's that or beating them about the head and face with a sack full of doorknobs.

So, house a mess, Bear sick, Husband sick, me in constant pain, new baby (it's a girl) the only healthy normal one around, no time, no money, and in-laws coming for turkey day. Please, if I tell you where I live, won't you come over and shoot me now?

::end rant::