Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Pop quiz

Which of the following did I say to the Bear in an effort to get her to go to sleep tonight?*

A. Why don't you lay in bed and read a book? Sometimes mommy reads in bed!

B. If you don't sleep tonight, you'll have to stay in bed all day tomorrow.

C. Sometimes it's okay to cry, but you still can't get out of bed.

D. You just woke your sister. Now mommy is Not. Happy.

E. I don't care where you want to sleep, this is your bed and you're staying in it.

F. If you keep yelling like that, I'll come in here and sit on you. And I may fart.

G. If you don't sleep, you'll never grow, and you'll be three feet tall forever.

H. Daddy's at work, so we can't call him. If he was here, he'd make you go to bed just like mommy.

I. If I don't hear another peep out of you all night long, we'll make muffins for breakfast in the morning.

Which do you think made her finally roll over and go to sleep?

*At 10:30, 2 1/2 hours after I first put her down

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

May I just say?


Dr. Jay Gordon?

If you're out there, somewhere in the ether, pondering your calling in life, let me just say this:

I will be your bitch *any* day of the week. And twice on Sundays.

Seriously. Call me.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Birth day

One year ago today, right now in fact, I was in a whirlpool tub of water, breathing as if my life depended on it, and saying that, no, really, I think the midwife should get back in here *now*. And in about 45 minutes, Mouse will be a year old. She's turning into a real little person (I mean with personality, not like a Fisher Price plastic toy. Although the similarities there are remarkable...).

She's about 24 pounds, 30 inches. Dark, curly(ish) hair, albeit not much of it. Huge blue eyes and deep dimples in both cheeks. Only five teeth, which, what the hell is up with that? Her sister had twelve by this time. I'm thinking she may never have a full mouthfull. We're working on sleep training right now. We finally found a method that's working for us. She's a tension increaser, so crying it out isn't even an option here. But neither did I want to keep feeding and holding her to sleep, because every time she woke at night, she wanted to be fed and help back to sleep. Five times a night? Not happening. So, we're down to about two wakings a night, two naps a day, and it takes anywhere from thirty seconds to five minutes to get her to sleep. She weaned herself off her bottle just this past week. She just quit taking it. No skin off my nose. I was going to do it anyway, now that she's a year, but she saved me some time and trouble by doing it herself.

She's definitely got a different personality than her sister. It's amazing to see how different two kids from the same gene pool can be. The Bear was as predictable as clockwork. I always joke that she was my textbook baby. Mouse, on the other hand, is a force of nature. She wants only what she wants, when she wants it. She will knock down or plow over anything that's in her way to get it, too. She will scream bloody murder if you take away something she has, or won't give her something she wants.

She will walk if you hold her hand, but won't do it on her own. She'll stand alone for quite a while, but when she realizes what she's doing, she'll panic and sit back down. She's absolutely fearless, though. She'll try to climb over the side of the bathtub, soaking wet, just for fun, or scale a bookcase or cabinet, just to get at something. I have no experience with this kind of stubborn. I always tell the Bear that nobody is more stubborn that Mommy, but with Mouse I may have met my match. I don't know if I can out-stubborn this kid, and that kind of scares me. What will I do when she figures that out?

She's seriously crazy, and wonderfully unpredictable, and completely gorgeous, and mine. And I'm lucky to have her.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Eerily accurate

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Inland North

You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."

The Northeast
The Midland
The South
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I *am* from Chicago! (Originally, not currently.) And people always ask me why I say things a certain way, where my accent is from, etc. So weird. What accent do you have?

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

What the hell is that noise?!

The scene:

Me, sitting on the couch with my laptop, working diligently*.

Suddenly, a strange noise pierces the quiet.

Me: Is that a noise? ::goes back to work::


Me: Seriously. What the hell is that noise? ::gets up, wanders aimlessly around house, pausing in each room to determine the source of the noise.::

Me: It's coming from the kitchen. No, it's coming from *outside* the kitchen. ::lifts shade, peers outside. Sees bird!::

Me: A bird! Holy crap!

After a long, cold, icy winter, we may make it to spring after all, folks.**

*As you can see.
**If it snows tomorrow, I didn't do it. I swear.***
***I'm sorry.

Friday, February 02, 2007


The Bear, finished with her toast, announces that she has made "a puzzle. A crust puzzle."

She did that herself - I just took the picture because it cracked me up. What a funny Bear.