Giving in

In the spirit of giving, tonight, I am giving in. Making a confession, one that I've avoided making for a while.

Internet, I am lonely.

Since the divorce - well, since the separation, really - I've dated* a few different guys, but none of them suit, for various reasons. Not smart enough, drinks too much, emotionally unavailable...

And while it's been fun to hang out with these guys, behaving like irresponsible teenagers, this last one has really hit home the truth that I've been avoiding for the last... well, for a really long time now.

I give in. I'm lonely. I miss being *someone* to someone. I miss being half of a whole. I miss mattering to someone.

That's all.


*I'm not really sure that's the right word. There have been very few actual "dates" involved. I have no idea what to call what I've been doing.