Thursday, April 28, 2005

The one where work is crappy...

75% of people think that their job sucks too much; 15% of people think that their job sucks just the right amount, and 10% of people wish that their jobs sucked even more. I am one of the fortunate few who fall into this last category.

I mean, who wouldn't want to go to work every day and be insulted by people half their age? I, for one, thoroughly enjoy this type of torture, and only wish that I could bring some of my students home with me on the weekends, just so that they could follow me around the house, randomly shouting insults and misbehaving. I find that on the days when you wake up in a relatively good mood, they can sense your happiness and set out to destroy it. My own personal happiness, for example, was gone before I had been in my classroom for thirty seconds this morning. That's a personal best, I'd have you know.

There are days (days like today) when I want to gouge out my own eyeballs with a rusty spork, just to have the pleasure of throwing something at people. The only thing that stops me from fulfilling this desire is the sneaking suspicion that a disembodied eyeball wouldn't cause the recipient nearly the amount of pain that I'm looking to inflict. Days like this make me wish I had never quit smoking, if only because then I might be lucky enough to die of cancer sooner than I could retire.

But then the kids pull through with the real winners, and you just have to laugh, because otherwise we'd all go nutty. May I offer as today's shining example this beautific opening line - "Parents: without them there would be no children." Things like this are what keep me coming back for more. That and the fact that I'm a ginormous glutton for punishment.

I love my job.

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