Monday, January 16, 2006

My friend Flicka

Yeah, I wonder how many times she heard that growing up...

On a more serious note, though, I am loving Felicity Huffman today. I admire her candid answers when questioned about her motherhood on 60 Minutes last night. She had the courage to say exactly what many moms think, but few moms ever say. She rocks so much, I may have to start watching the Housewives (or not...)

Why is it that every woman who has children is expected to love motherhood so much? Why is that supposed to be the single defining event of our lives? Why must my entire existence revolve around the fact that I am a mother? I'm also a wife, and a teacher, and many other things. Are those things intrinsically worth less?

What makes a "good" mother? How do I know if I am one? Do I get points for trying to be a good mom, even if I may not always succeed? Can moms be "good" in different ways? Does what makes you a "good" mother automatically make me a "good" mother if I do it too? I realize that it's important not to screw up your kids too badly, but do I need to stay home and bake cookies for that?

Come to think of it, why does society always expect that women *want* to be mothers in the first place? I know of many women who just don't feel the urge to have children. Is there something wrong with them? Are they bad, unnatural women? Husband and I never wanted to have children when we got married (hahaha - the best-laid plans...). We love our children now that they're here, but we didn't plan for either of them. Why is motherhood selected as the thing that makes women who they are? Men aren't defined by fatherhood...

This may set a new world record as the post that asks the most questions while giving the fewest answers - ever. I'm just curious - why is this the way it is?

2 comments:

Ninotchka said...

Hell if I know why it is as it is but this was a very good post. Why indeed.

Julie said...

Once again, I demonstrate my complete idiocy in the arena of current affairs and pop culture. This interview is being talked about EVERYWHERE. I saw 2 seconds of it, scoffed, "Ah, the Desperate Housewives on the issues," and turned it off. Am dumb, because it sounds like she really made some good points.

As do you. Food for thought, for sure.