Things we have eaten recently, in our never-ending quest to ruin our digestion:
The Bear: red flip-flops*
Tank:** an entire corn on the cob (an impressive feat with only 7 teeth); tuna-flavored cat food; pumice
Myself: three plates full of everything deep-fried at a Chinese buffet (sweet and sour chicken, veggie egg rolls, crab rangoon, and more) dunked in that gooey fake red "sweet and sour sauce," washed down with two! orange sodas***
*She was pretending to chew on her auntie's flip-flops, just like her sister does, and I told her that if I caught her sticking them in her mouth one more time, I'd make her eat them. She looked right at me and stuck it in her mouth anyway. So I cut a chunk off the back and made her eat it. Discipline. It's all about the follow-through.
**At 15 months, the Mouse is no longer a Mouse. She is a Tank. Seriously. This kid knocks over and destroys everything in her path.
***Having hit an all-time high in the weight department, I've decided to say fuck dieting and eat whatever I want. Seems self-explanatory to me.