Things we have eaten recently, in our never-ending quest to ruin our digestion:
The Bear: red flip-flops*
Tank:** an entire corn on the cob (an impressive feat with only 7 teeth); tuna-flavored cat food; pumice
Myself: three plates full of everything deep-fried at a Chinese buffet (sweet and sour chicken, veggie egg rolls, crab rangoon, and more) dunked in that gooey fake red "sweet and sour sauce," washed down with two! orange sodas***
*She was pretending to chew on her auntie's flip-flops, just like her sister does, and I told her that if I caught her sticking them in her mouth one more time, I'd make her eat them. She looked right at me and stuck it in her mouth anyway. So I cut a chunk off the back and made her eat it. Discipline. It's all about the follow-through.
**At 15 months, the Mouse is no longer a Mouse. She is a Tank. Seriously. This kid knocks over and destroys everything in her path.
***Having hit an all-time high in the weight department, I've decided to say fuck dieting and eat whatever I want. Seems self-explanatory to me.
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3 comments:
Under your circumstances, I'd say a little stress eating is warranted.
Did the Bear say how the flip-flop tasted?
HA HA HA - Did you really make her eat a piece of flip flop? CLASSIC. If you really did, you're my new hero. I've washed out Elle's mouth with soap before. Oh yes, I have. She had this nasty habit of calling me an "idiot" (no idea where she got that from) and well, my constitution is not strong enough to withstand that kind of verbal abuse. It's been a loooooong time since she's called me "idiot." Just sayin'!
PS. Your Chinese buffet sound fucking fantastic...says the dieting girl. (I totally cheated today...and how!)
Yes, I did make her eat it. She said it tasted like feet, and that it was hard to chew. And difficult to swallow. She had to wash it down with milk. We decided it was so hard to get down because shoes aren't food, and probably aren't made for eating. She's promised not to eat them again. We'll see.
And the Chinese buffet? Totally disgusting, in an awesome way. Way worth the bloating and the MSG hangover. Pretty much anything you can fry and dip in a sugary sauce is something I'm down with.
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