Thursday, October 09, 2008

I Will Cut You, Bitch

Yes, Emily, I am talking to you. And your little homie, Cynthia. Never again will I be able to hear these names without grinding my teeth. It's like that part in Anne of Green Gables when Diana says she used to think Josie and Gertie were nice names until she met the Pye sisters. Sorry if that totally lost you.

This morning, in the car, on the way to preschool, after dropping off the Tank, the Bear and I are talking. We use our car time for chatting. She says, randomly:

Emily is tired of my blue shoes.


Prodded further, she produced this:

Emily said, 'I'm so tired of seeing you in those blue shoes every day. Why do you wear the same shoes all the time?"


It is on, bitch.* You better not let me catch you on the playground. And if I meet your mother? Oh, the gloves are coming off. That woman should have taught you some manners. And possibly spanked you more.

There you have it. A classmate made fun of my kid for only owning one pair of shoes. A perfectly nice, serviceable pair of shoes, which she picked out herself, especially for preschool. I am of the less is more school of parenting, because a) they're just going to grow out of it in 3 months, and b) they're going to destroy it before it gets grown out of anyway. Seriously. But the reason the Bear only has that one pair of shoes to wear to school is that I can't afford to buy her more than that. I'm sure some kids have pairs and pairs of school shoes and play shoes and dressy shoes and whatnot. Not mine. They each spent the entire summer in a $5 pair of fake crocs, and are now comfortably ensconced in their school shoes. We'll probably add some boots for winter snow/rain/ickyness, etc. when grandma comes next weekend. Grandma is always good for shoe shopping. But still. There is no buying superfluous things like a second pair of shoes when you already have a pair that works just fine?

Hell, I'm on my second year in this particular pair of school shoes. I wear them every day. They look fine. They smell like... feet. Oh, well. Odor Eaters are much cheaper than new shoes. Maybe next year, if the tax refund fairy is good to me, I'll get a new pair.

*Yes, I realize I am calling a four-year-old a bitch. She insulted my child. Get over it.


AmyRobynne said...

Peter's school requires either white sneakers or black dress shoes. I didn't bother replacing the size 10 sneakers he got last fall when they got a giant hole in the toe in July because he was still a size 10 and there was no way he'd still be in that size in September. Finally got new sneakers last week (white, $15 at Target -- first time he hasn't worn Stride Rite from the outlet because I can actually tell if the shoes fit without help now) and he was 10.5 My mom got black dress shoes, no visible wear, at a garage sale, so he switches between the two. He was barefoot 90% of the time this summer and still argues that he doesn't need shoes outdoors in 50 degree weather.

I generally get one $20-$25 pair of sneakers from the Stride Rite outlet and do something similar for dress shoes if my mom doesn't find any. But both kids have worn their last pair of shoes for a year, somehow. If they have more than one dressy and one casual pair, they were purchased at a garage sale. I don't see the point in having more shoes to lose, either.

Dan told me he needs new shoes -- he's been wearing the same pair to school since he student taught 5 years ago. I figure we'll get him nice ones at a dept store for half off during one of the endless fall sales.

fern said...

I agree with you. What the hell??? Why does a little kid think of things like how boring another kid's shoes are??

I've had terrific luck at thrift stores, as far as shoes for my oldest daughter go. My younger three are all in hand-me-downs from their cousins. I've had a lot of people tell me how awful that is. Oh well.

Ninotchka said...

My kids wear the same shoes over and over and over...even when they don't fit. They just get infatuated. I'm fine with this.

And I love the "bitch" bit. I know exactly how you feel. I remember one time when Natalie was little and a little girl was gratuitously mean to her. I felt the same way. Bad part was that I said it in front of Nat. "That little bitch!" Bad Nino. heh