a place where nobody cares if you have dirty feet, dinner comes on a Ritz cracker*, and there's always a Mad About You rerun on. I love that damn show.
*peanut butter and banana for the Bear, PB and J for Tank
Monday, June 02, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
My home is...
a diaper free zone! After 1,402* days of diapering one, sometimes two, butts, my home is diaper-free. I can't really tell you how happy that makes me...
Ok, so I'll confess, we still have a diaper or two floating around. But now Tank is putting them on her dolls, and I'm not even touching them. If I never change another diaper, it will still be too soon.
*No, I did not make that number up out of my head. Yes, I did the math. 58 days shy of four years. I could probably do the math on how many diapers a day, times number of days, but then I'd have to croak.
Ok, so I'll confess, we still have a diaper or two floating around. But now Tank is putting them on her dolls, and I'm not even touching them. If I never change another diaper, it will still be too soon.
*No, I did not make that number up out of my head. Yes, I did the math. 58 days shy of four years. I could probably do the math on how many diapers a day, times number of days, but then I'd have to croak.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Fuck you two
May I just share how tired I am of two? I have had a two-year old for almost two years now. The first one passed fairly easily. This one? Is trying to kill me.
She refuses to listen. She is openly defiant. She knows the things she is not supposed to do, and she does them anyway. She sneaks out of bed, ostensibly to go potty, and uses up half a bottle of soap, on purpose. Twice. She puts things in her mouth that she knows she's not supposed to, things that are not food, things that could choke and/or kill her. She knows she's not supposed to put non-food items in her mouth*, and yet she does it anyway, and mocks me with this "so what are you going to do about it, lady?" attitude.
I am so sick and tired of this. The Bear is almost four, and she's much more reasonable, easier to handle (usually), and when I have only her to deal with, I can manage. When I have both, I find it so much more difficult, and I think it all traces back to Tank. Seriously. I get that all children are different, but this one is a serious trial to me. It's gotten to the point where I don't enjoy being with her all the time because she just refuses to listen. At all. Ever. It's a damn lucky thing for her that she's ridiculously adorable. If she wasn't so sweet, I probably would have sold her to gypsies long ago.
*Her track record so far? Cigarette butts, trash, ant poison, a dead toad, rocks, more rocks, cat food, bottle caps...
She refuses to listen. She is openly defiant. She knows the things she is not supposed to do, and she does them anyway. She sneaks out of bed, ostensibly to go potty, and uses up half a bottle of soap, on purpose. Twice. She puts things in her mouth that she knows she's not supposed to, things that are not food, things that could choke and/or kill her. She knows she's not supposed to put non-food items in her mouth*, and yet she does it anyway, and mocks me with this "so what are you going to do about it, lady?" attitude.
I am so sick and tired of this. The Bear is almost four, and she's much more reasonable, easier to handle (usually), and when I have only her to deal with, I can manage. When I have both, I find it so much more difficult, and I think it all traces back to Tank. Seriously. I get that all children are different, but this one is a serious trial to me. It's gotten to the point where I don't enjoy being with her all the time because she just refuses to listen. At all. Ever. It's a damn lucky thing for her that she's ridiculously adorable. If she wasn't so sweet, I probably would have sold her to gypsies long ago.
*Her track record so far? Cigarette butts, trash, ant poison, a dead toad, rocks, more rocks, cat food, bottle caps...
Monday, May 26, 2008
Playdate from hell
In an effort to take a break from depressing divorce news, I bring you this update.
Today was our first real live "playdate." Playdate in the sense that the Bear begged and begged for this kid to come over, and so I called his mom, and scheduled a time, and he came over to play, and oh, god, is it awful.
We've played with other kids before, sure. The girls to go school 5 days a week, and they have all kinds of small friends there. But we don't usually invite people over. The two girls are so close in age, we're pretty self-sufficient that way. So I was a little uncertain about how this would work, and not particularly looking forward to it.
Anyway. It sucks. Oh, is it awful. First off, this kid is a boy. Now, I have nothing against boys, as a rule, but I don't really know how little boys work. I only have girls. Boys are... different. This kid is rougher in his play, and less communicative, which at 4 is super frustrating.
Also, he's on the autism spectrum. He's definitely not autistic, but if I had to use all my experience to figure out where he's at, I would probably peg him as extremely high-functioning autistic or closer to Asperger's. Mom doesn't see anything wrong, and he's been observed/evaluated/tested, with inconclusive results. So, he doesn't interact well with, well, anyone at all. And I have known plenty of kids on the autism spectrum, and they're all great and unique and different, but I don't think it's a stretch to say that interaction with other kids is difficult.
So far today, he has:
kicked
refused to share
wandered off (234987 times)
freaked out about noise
refused to share
grabbed each of the girls to hold them back from doing something at least once
pushed
made the Bear cry at least 3 times
And yet, she keeps following him around like a lovesick puppy, trying to get his attention and make him happy. I foresee an abusive boyfriend in her future.
Today was our first real live "playdate." Playdate in the sense that the Bear begged and begged for this kid to come over, and so I called his mom, and scheduled a time, and he came over to play, and oh, god, is it awful.
We've played with other kids before, sure. The girls to go school 5 days a week, and they have all kinds of small friends there. But we don't usually invite people over. The two girls are so close in age, we're pretty self-sufficient that way. So I was a little uncertain about how this would work, and not particularly looking forward to it.
Anyway. It sucks. Oh, is it awful. First off, this kid is a boy. Now, I have nothing against boys, as a rule, but I don't really know how little boys work. I only have girls. Boys are... different. This kid is rougher in his play, and less communicative, which at 4 is super frustrating.
Also, he's on the autism spectrum. He's definitely not autistic, but if I had to use all my experience to figure out where he's at, I would probably peg him as extremely high-functioning autistic or closer to Asperger's. Mom doesn't see anything wrong, and he's been observed/evaluated/tested, with inconclusive results. So, he doesn't interact well with, well, anyone at all. And I have known plenty of kids on the autism spectrum, and they're all great and unique and different, but I don't think it's a stretch to say that interaction with other kids is difficult.
So far today, he has:
kicked
refused to share
wandered off (234987 times)
freaked out about noise
refused to share
grabbed each of the girls to hold them back from doing something at least once
pushed
made the Bear cry at least 3 times
And yet, she keeps following him around like a lovesick puppy, trying to get his attention and make him happy. I foresee an abusive boyfriend in her future.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Truth in cliche
You know that old saying? Two nice people not meant to be together?
That's us.
I always thought that divorce was for people who hated each other. Husband and I don't hate each other, not at all, so how did we end up here? He doesn't drink, he doesn't beat me, and he only fucked around the once. twice. whatever. anyway...
It turns out, we are great friends, lousy spouses. There's nobody I'd rather talk to, nobody I'd rather hang out with, go to the movies with, go to sleep with, than him. But when I got married, I had a whole host of silly, antiquated, antediluvian notions how what marriage was supposed to be like, and what a husband and father should be like. I was young! Naive! Doe-like in my innocence.*
And then, reality.
I think, perhaps, that I'm just not a fan of reality. I had my mind made up about how it was going to be, and that's not how it was. And it sucked. I have never been so disappointed in my entire life. Truly. And for a while, I was willing to grin and bear it. Well, bear it. I don't do much grinning anymore. And then I realized that I didn't have to bear it anymore. And everything broke wide open, and we've never been happier.
I wish I was joking.
*I'm assuming that he had certain notions too, but then again, maybe not. I'm not really certain. Must ask.
That's us.
I always thought that divorce was for people who hated each other. Husband and I don't hate each other, not at all, so how did we end up here? He doesn't drink, he doesn't beat me, and he only fucked around the once. twice. whatever. anyway...
It turns out, we are great friends, lousy spouses. There's nobody I'd rather talk to, nobody I'd rather hang out with, go to the movies with, go to sleep with, than him. But when I got married, I had a whole host of silly, antiquated, antediluvian notions how what marriage was supposed to be like, and what a husband and father should be like. I was young! Naive! Doe-like in my innocence.*
And then, reality.
I think, perhaps, that I'm just not a fan of reality. I had my mind made up about how it was going to be, and that's not how it was. And it sucked. I have never been so disappointed in my entire life. Truly. And for a while, I was willing to grin and bear it. Well, bear it. I don't do much grinning anymore. And then I realized that I didn't have to bear it anymore. And everything broke wide open, and we've never been happier.
I wish I was joking.
*I'm assuming that he had certain notions too, but then again, maybe not. I'm not really certain. Must ask.
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