Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Teacher's Lament

Tonight I received the following:

Ms. Teacher Jane -

Just checking in to see how Miffy did on the quiz. She said she did not get it. Please help her.

Best,
Muffy


To which I responded:

Ms. Entitled Mom -

Traditionally, the time to seek help is *before* the quiz, rather than after you've already failed it. In addition to which, it is my JOB to help her. You are paying $14,000 a year for me to help her. I have two degrees and five years of experience helping people like her. However, my telepathic powers are a bit weak at the moment, and unless Miffy raises her hand to ask a question, or shows some other sign of life, it's very difficult to help her.

K thanks bye,
Jane


To which she will undoubtedly respond with:

Ms. Teacher Jane -

Whatever. I have a squash game and an appointment at the spa. Just make sure she gets an A on her report card, will you?

Muffy


To which, with a certain vengeful glee, I would say:

Ms. Entitled Mom -

I'll be sure to do that, just as soon as you shove that gigantic squash racket up your ass. Sideways. Your kid is a C student. All your money can't make her any smarter than that. But have fun trying!

Worst,
Jane

1 comment:

AmyRobynne said...

Dan attended a regional private school conference last week and one of the lectures was on dealing with parents just like that. He's had some doozies of emails/calls remarkably similar. Throw in a dose of Catholicism and you've got it. They tend to go "Mr F. -- I highly respect the school's policies but here's why you should give an exception for my child." He took away a cell phone the other day and got that call.