Ack!

No good excuses for where I've been, although I did run away from home for a week. But I'm back now! And still not updating. I will confess to having some belated baby blues. Alternately, it could be nursing hormones. Or, god forbid, the reemergence of my Freaking Period. At 9 weeks postpartum. While exclusively breastfeeding. I could be wrong, but if I am, then what the heck was that spotting?!

Anyway, in an attempt to get back in the saddle, having been randomly tagged by the internet and those people who themselves tagged the whole internet, here are 6 Random Things About Me! (in no particular order)

1. I used to manage a Greek diner in the city, a job for which I was massively unqualified. In fact, I was only hired because my boss (a lovely woman) thought I was hot and wanted to hook up with me. Ahem. Still, that was a fun job - it had its perks! (Probably not the ones you're thinking about! Geez! What kind of girl do you think I am?)

2. I once had an egg thrown at me from the window of a passing car at three in the morning as I was walking back to my apartment. The drunken frat boys inside thought I was a drag queen (seen from behind). What gave that impression, I'll never know. Must be my muscular calves!

3. My breasts get stage fright. You know how some people can't pee if they think others are listening? Well, I can't pump if someone is watching. It inhibits the letdown, somehow. Very embarrassing. They don't want people watching them work! In fact, in order to get past the stage fright, I have to read a book while I pump. I can't even look myself. I'm currently stockpiling for my imminent return to work for the last three weeks of school, wherein nobody ever learns anything. My fridge looks like I'm preparing to feed an army of starving orphans.

4. I have been racially profiled by the police of a major US city. I am white.

5. I have a Master's degree, but I will freely confess that I did not learn a single blessed thing during my entire grad school career. The only helpful thing I gained from the experience (besides a job and a raise) was this: an old nun once told me, in regard to my chosen profession, "If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer!" Gotta love her.

6. I have arthritis in the finger that I had broken by an incredibly well-dressed mugger less than three blocks from my apartment. Also, that nail has a split in it that refuses to go away, five years later.

Well, that about wraps it up for me. Coming soon - Why am I so moody? Do I have to go back to work? Can I lose these last 10 pounds? What is the meaning of the universe?