Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The high cost of marital discord
Oh, the chain of events that resulted in this morning's carnage was long and complex. It all started last night...
when Husband, who works until midnight, decided to stay up until 4 am on the Internet, which
caused him to stay in bed this morning when I was up and wrangling both girls and myself into clothes, breakfast, medicines, teeth-brushing, shoes, etc., which
caused me to yell at him for being such a self-centered jackass, which
caused him to yell back (without opening his eyes), which
led into a knock-down, drag-out fight in which blunt objects were thrown, people's mothers insulted, divorce threatened, and much crying and slamming of doors, which
caused me to clean the kitchen in a frenzy of anger, including the dishes, including putting my breast pump parts on to boil, which
gave me enough time to think about our fight and realize that we should talk over our areas of concern like the rational adults we are, which
led me to make a pot of coffee as a gesture of conciliation and an invitation to mature dialogue, which
forced me to go upstairs to wake up Husband to tell him about the coffee and invite him to discuss our concerns over a cup, which
enticed Husband to invite me back into the bed for hugs, cuddles, and apologies, which meant that
we had our talk there, heedlessly disregarding the coffee downstairs, which
enabled me to nap for a bit while Husband baby-wrangled for a change, which
led to the discovery, by Husband, of my long-boiled-dry breast pump parts melted to the bottom of my favorite All-Clad saucepan, which in turn
almost burned the house down.
This, I contend, is all Husband's fault for not going to bed on time last night, and had he burned to a crisp in said bed, it would have been poetic justice well served.