Monday, January 05, 2009

Stymied

I've been having a bit of a dry spell with the blogging lately. I was out of town, visiting, and didn't take my laptop, but that's not the only thing.

I keep wanting to update with this and that, random stuff, etc. and find myself not doing it because I know that Soon-To-Be-Ex-Husband still reads my blog. And truly, I know that I shouldn't care what he thinks, and I don't, not really, but there are things I just don't feel comfortable sharing in front of him. Things I think he'd disapprove of. Things I think he'd store in his memory and somehow try to use against me in the future, for some as-yet-undetermined nefarious purpose. Not that he would do that - too much effort involved.

Here's something I can share, completely (mostly) harmless: my children are not sleeping. They have decided that bedtime is when all of their anxieties and fears and sense of loss and bewilderment, not to mention their healthy natural sense of stubborn, will manifest themselves.

The Tank* will primarily lay in her bed and cry for daddy. She wants him, she misses him, she loves him, she wants to see him, she wants to go to his house, what day is it, what day can she go, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum ad infinitum.

The Bear, slightly older and more sophisticated, becomes anxious. Am I going to leave the house while she's asleep? Where will I be? What will I be doing? When will I be going to bed? What if she can't hear me? Lately I have to pinky-swear to her that I will not leave the house. Not that I have ever left the house while she's asleep. You can't do that. I wouldn't do that.

We've made charts - every night that they go directly to bed without an unholy fuss, they get a sticker. Ten stickers gets you a treat. Only works maybe one night out of five.

I would love to just lock them in there and let them scream it out, but that seems impractical. Reasoning is out, for all the obvious reasons. Bribery has no effect. My parenting arsenal is depleted. Thoughts?



*Who has christened herself Rerun, by the way. Totally hilarious. Perfect nickname for her. And she always uses it in the third person - Rerun is wearing a blue shirt, Rerun is hungry, etc. I love it. I will admit, I encourage it.

4 comments:

Julie said...

That sucks, and I've got nothing. Does your school have a student counselor or something -- somebody who might have some suggestions?

Ninotchka said...

What is it with kids and sleep issues lately? I don't remember the last time I slept sans-kid. It's really cramping my style. Elle is like your oldest. Always coming up with these insane scenarios that I have to talk her down from. Not to discount everything your kids have gone through and their very real fears and concerns but also maybe it's the age (they're about the same age, aren't they?).

Wish I could help you here but I'm stumped as well. And tired.

Jane said...

Oh, thank god. Maybe it's just a phase, then, and not something I'm doing wrong! Elle is a little older than the Bear - she'll start kindergarten this fall. Rerun is about 6 months younger than Anna Sofia, too. Thanks, Nino.

Anonymous said...

I was once told that its not our business what other people think of us. What they meant was that we are responsible for our thoughts and feelings not other peoples. It would be pure ego to think we could control how others htink of us. Even if you were the nicest person there will be some who think otherwise. Let your former husband go. Your doing such a great job I wish you could see how strong you are.