So, remember back a while ago when I said I absolutely refuse to teach summer school this summer because I want to spend time with the Bear? Well, I just got a phone call informing me today that I will be teaching TWO summer school classes. And they start - wait for it... next week!
I have nothing prepared - and I mean NOTHING.
I have no daycare for the Bear. I told our provider that she would be back in the fall - there's no room at the inn for her to go there this summer.
This is an age group of students that I have never taught. No experience whatsoever. Fortunately, due to the, um, relaxed standards in this podunk state, that doesn't matter. What was a 6-12 certificate in Civilization is now a K-12 certificate. That's ok - first graders and freshmen are almost exactly alike (or so I've been told).
I have to start teaching these classes for which I have no material to students with whom I am unqualified to deal in Less Than A Week.
I am going to beat someone about the head and face with a sack full of doorknobs. And then I'm going to set that someone on fire.