Dear Mr. Cooper

Anderson:

Seriously, dude, what's up with the premature grey hair? Is it a ploy to make people think you're older and wiser than you really are?

Not to mention the two last names. Couldn't your mother come up with a decent first name for you? Poor baby.

On a more serious note, great show last night. Not. Thanks but no thanks for your misleading headline. I'm so glad that you, in your supposed position of authority, with your crap-ass TV show, and your fan club and your thousands of viewers, have taken the time to reflect on your position, and have decided to use it for evil rather than good. You do know that there are people out there who take you seriously, right? Who take what you say without a grain of salt, in much the same way they take the Bible? Thanks for leading them to believe that:

a) Chicago has a problem with school violence, and
2) there's no violence in Chicago outside the school-age set.

Way to put your own twisted spin on the issue and mislead the people. Way to negate the importance of other people's deaths. You rock. Here's hoping that the American people realize just what an asshat you are before you do something even more stupid.

Thanks a bunch!

Sincerely,
Jane